10 days before I turned 7 my older brother, Ryan, was killed in an accident. I not only lost my older brother, I also lost the emotional availability of my Father because of the added depression and grief he carried for the rest of his life. This catalyst moment created a void for connection and mentorship from men in my life.   I was also a momma’s boy growing up and regularly remember my mom shaming my dad for his anger and temper. “Don’t have a temper like your dad”, or “Leitzke men always lose their temper”, I’d hear on repeat.   Subconsciously prioritizing the connection I did have with my mom I learned to shame and repress my own emotions, and became good at just intellectualizing them.   Paired with the paradox of being a college football player I was rewarded as a man for unleashing anger and violence on the men who were my “opponents.” Thankfully in my mid 20s I started going to therapy and learned how to be compassionately curious with what influenced my behavior and how I can better myself.   My therapist was an amazing woman and wise elder for me, but now removed from football, in a female dominant profession as a guidance counselor, I had even less male connection and mentorship.   This led me to being courageous enough to show up to the 2017 annual North Coast Men’s Gathering in Humboldt, CA completely by myself - which I was the only one out of 30+ to come not knowing anybody.   It was simultaneously extremely scary and deeply comforting to meet other heart centered men and boys from ages 2-80. After that transformational weekend I continued the courageous connection by joining the Arcata Men’s group, which I’ve been a member of ever since.   It was in this container of heart centered men - in their 30s-60s, white collar and blue collar professions, and backgrounds from various states and countries that I was able to put my mental, emotional, and spiritual intelligence to practice.   I practiced being vulnerable about my emotions with men - which was different than when I did it with the women in my life.   I practiced expressing my full range of emotions from anger, grief, and even my joy intentionally and safely - which I had learned to suppress out of fear.   I practiced actively witnessing myself and others - without trying to solve anything - which was coincidently more empowering.  I practiced discovering my authentic self and purpose by asking, “what’s really going on?”  I practiced embracing responsibility in my challenges by asking myself, “what’s it got to do with me?” Now 7 years later, I’m honored that facilitating transformational experiences for other men is part of my Dharma.   I believe in a world where men are intimately connected, emotionally resilient, and deeply fulfilled. At Heart Alchemy you’ll learn and practice the most potent strategies, techniques, and fundamentals for being the man you know you are capable of being.   ​ Don’t put off nurturing your next level of healing transformation.   Join me at Maui Heart Alchemy to cultivate your emotional capacity for greater self-love and the emotional resilience to process your pain into purpose.   Love Kyle