How to Regulate Emotionally with CARE

Updated: Nov 18

Emotional Intelligence and Positive Affirmations are great, AND I've found that for myself, and my clients, the real magic to "healing" is in the skill of being "in right relation." With our whole selves. Our physical sensations, mental perceptions, and spiritual presence. Allowing our whole selves to be here at all times, and have an intimate relationship with it.

Emotional CARE looks to Consciously pause, Attune to your feelings, Relate to your needs, and Express care for your needs.

"Emotional CARE" is a process I've put together to be empowered through our emotions.

This IS NOT mentally focused.

This IS NOT a fix or avoid hack.

This IS NOT a just think and see positive scheme.

This IS intended to be empowering.

This IS intended to be embodied and somatic.

This IS trauma-informed.

This IS holistically focused on body, mind, and spirit connection.

This IS intended to be relational and messy and hard and beautiful all that the same time.

The goal IS NOT to try and stop uncomfortable emotions from happening.

The goal IS more about developing your capacity to remain calm and content while uncomfortable emotions come up during life.

Basically staying in your window of tolerance, or returning to your window of tolerance. Reminds me of what Deepak Chopra calls, "Equanimity"


Here's the emotional CARE process I've put together

It is a mix of mindfulness, breath work, emotional intelligence, somatic practices, and compassionate communication (similar to non-violent communication).

I've been inspired and guided by leaders like Deepak Chopra and Tara Brach's RAIN who have shared similar work.

Specifically putting together a process like this, I was inspired by learning about Ryan Weiss's Emotionally FIT process, and I have now received training with Ryan on his process that has helped me hone in my own.

After practicing it on myself, testing it with consenting clients, and seeing the positive results, I am now sharing it here with you.

IMPORTANT: This can be difficult to do on your own, so during calls with clients, I will guide them through this when necessary and desired.

But here’s the steps and some tips to try on your own…

Don't attempt to push yourself in any way that would harm you or others. Seek skilled professional support when needed.

1) Conscious pause

Attention first requires awareness.

Whether you are in the midst of an unregulated state or

In the moment, pause to recognize your state and then move to the next step of Attune.

When reflecting on the event, ask yourself: What are the details of the event that triggered this emotion for me?

Stay focused on Facts of the setting, context, and subjects.

This is data that is objective and helps clarify the moment.

Once you have the conscious pause that brings awareness you are ready to move into your body more.